Vol. 2, Issue 42, December 21, 2004
Embarrassing White House Error Blamed on Democratic Operative
The recent spelling error on the display at a panel discussion featuring President Bush has been traced to a Democratic operative, says the White House.
"We think it is simply sad that those who seek to undermine the President continue to engage in such childish tactics," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "The election is over, people. Please find more constructive ways to use your energy."
The word "challenges" - a main theme of a two-day White House economic conference that ended on Thursday - was misspelled on a large television monitor that stood in front of Bush during a panel discussion. "Financial Challanges for Today and Tomorrow," the message proclaimed in dark blue capital letters against a bright yellow background.
The alleged Democratic operative, Tom Evans, worked for the Bush campaigns in 2000 and 2004 and has worked in the White House mailroom since 2001. It is not clear how Evans would have had access to the monitor where the misspelling occurred, especially since he was 1,500 miles away at the time visiting a relative. However, the White House is firm in its condemnation.
"Furthermore, now that this insidious mole has been revealed, a lot of other things are falling into place," added McClellan. Evans, according to the White House, is not only responsible for the misspelled word, but is also the cause of most of the problems encountered by the Bush administration, including the net loss of jobs in the U.S. since 2001, the skyrocketing deficit, the Halliburton scandal, and the continuing problems with insurgent violence in Iraq.
"Boy, I'm glad we got that sorted out," said a cheerful-looking Bush at a press conference later that day. "I should have known there was a Democrat behind that rising deficit. It just didn't make sense otherwise."
The Democratic party has vigorously denied that it had anything to do with Evans' alleged sabotaging efforts.
"If we could get someone inside the White House to try and make the president look bad, do you really think we'd waste time and effort on a misspelled word? Bush is famous for his mangled English. It would be a pointlessly redundant plot," said House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi. "Actually, it's hard to think of anything we could come up with that he hasn't done himself."
Despite Evans' dismissal, the White House sounded a note of caution suggesting that other subversive low-level staffers might remain.
"Well, it kinda depends on how the whole Social Security thing turns out," said Bush. "If we get into a lot of trouble over that next year, we may need to fire someone else."