Volume 1, Special Addendum, October 8, 2003

I Herewith Do Formally Concede The Race, By Jingo

My Fellow Californians, Americans, and friends from Abroad;

As this most Herculean of Contests has come to a Close, and the ballots and Voters, Dimpled and Otherwise, have been Counted, it has been made apparent to me that I have not managed to Carry the State of California. I was not Officially informed, but I have a lad who runs Errands for me - a Baleen Street Irregular, if you will - who saw the Results while borrowing some Chicken Wings from the reception at Republican Headquarters.

This loss comes as a Shock, though I was not actually on the Ballot and my dear assistant Elisabeth has informed me that Ephram never mailed my Notice of Write-In Status - so consequently the State did not count Any of my votes. Still, it was a Close race, down to the very Wire; and I was glued to my Radio until Nature called and I forgot to come Back.

I fully intend to Support Governor-Elect Schwarzenegger, unless he makes us all speak with an Austro-Hungarian accents or tries to Reinstate the Hapsburgs; in which case I shall pack a trunkful of my best Cravats and Spats and voyage promptly to our Nation's Capital to complain.

I would like to thank all of those who Supported me; from the lingering ghost of Teddy Roosevelt's Bull Moose Party - we shall win Yet, fellows! - to my loyal staff, who all would have Voted for me had they been Eligible; to the ever-faithful Elisabeth, who ironed the Bunting which I diligently hung from my Study Window; to the Old Salt, whose vote was sadly cast on the wrong Coast. Also deserving of thanks are Johnny Walker, who assisted me in the Mornings; Cutty Sark, who was invaluable in my Luncheon Campaigning efforts; the Macallan, staunch defender of my post-prandial Naps; Chivas Regal, who was with me through all that campaigning in the Pub.

There are many others deserving of mention, though I cannot quite remember them all. But my Physician says that is Normal for a man of my Age with a Brain so Crammed with Knowledge and Experience; so it is Nothing to worry about.

God Bless California, and God Bless America, and God Bless pretty much Everybody, except for those fellows we're fighting Overseas, whichever ones those are.

Ezekiel F. Watley, Esq.
Former Gubernatorial Candidate