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Blondes Still Have More Fun, but Losing Advantage Rapidly

Blondes still have more fun, but their advantage has eroded significantly in recent years, say scientists at Stockholm University in Sweden. Sweden's parliament, the Riksdag, is considering what action to take.

"This is a very distressing finding with a potentially major impact on our tourism industry and our very quality of life overall," said Rolf Jonsson, a member of the Riksdag. "Sweden prides itself on a high standard of living and needs to take a very serious look at what has happened here."

The blondfenomen, or "blond phenomenon," has been well-documented since a series of landmark studies at Stanford University performed in the early 1950s which demonstrated that blondes experience approximately 15 to 20 percent more fun than brunettes or redheads while engaged in most entertainment-related activities such as watching a movie, reading, or playing games. However, the Stockholm study released this month shows only a 9 percent advantage for blondes.

"We suspect that a number of factors contribute to this shift, including the wide prevalence of artificial hair coloring and generally improved educational standards," said Annika Svensen, one of the scientists who conducted the study. "In addition, we cannot rule out the cumulative negative effect of decades of jokes about dumb blondes. There is a certain amount of stigma associated with blondeness at present which may be contributing to existential crises that inhibit the ability of blondes to enjoy themselves."

It has long been known that artificial hair coloring can allow brunettes to benefit from the blondfenomen, although artificial blondes also suffer from the negative stereotypes affecting real blondes.

Not everyone is concerned about the decline of the blondfenomen however. For some, the study is welcome news. "The exaltation of blonde-ness smacks very strongly of Aryan purity and all that," said Angelique DuBois, a spokesperson for the United Nations Commission on Lifestyle Standards. "It reflects a very first-world perspective. Most of the world has dark hair, you know. The ability of blondes to have more fun perpetuates social inequality."

Svensen pointed out however that the narrowing gap actually reflects a decline in fun for blondes, rather than an increase in fun for those of other hair colors. "Praising this trend is analogous to praising the economic decline of the West. We would be much happier to see a increase in fun for those of other hair colors, but that day is not yet here."

In the meanwhile, Rikstag member Jonsson, who is himself blond, is proposing drastic action, including the censoring of over 450,000 web pages devoted to collections of blonde jokes.

"We may have to use a lot of white-out to clean up those pages," said Jonsson. "But at least we'll have 9 percent more fun while doing it."

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