Vol. 1, Issue 24, October 28, 2003
Fizzy Tea Hits the Spot
Random Perspective

Yankee Loss due to Daylight Savings Error

Yankee manager Joe Torre made a number of minor, but costly mistakes during the World Series. But the most costly, it appears, was putting batboy Irvin Frost in charge of setting the clocks back on Daylight Savings Time.

"I just want to let everyone know that I really just wanted to make extra-sure," said a quivering Frost as he looked nervously over his shoulder. "I mean, really, I did."

Frost apparently wanted to make sure he adjusted the team's clocks on time, so he made the change one day early.

"People say, you know, "Spring ahead, Fall back," Frost added. "But you know, I get confused, because when I fall down it's always forward, on my face."

Because of Frost's blunder, the entire team failed to show up on time for Game 6, it has now been revealed. Because moving or canceling the game would have been too costly, ringers were substituted for the players until they arrived at the field.

"I did not pay $180 million for a team to be represented by batboys and hotdog vendors!" fumed Yankee owner George Steinbrenner, displaying his usual temper following the Yankees' loss to the Marlins. "What really gets my goat is, no one noticed the difference between the ringers and the real players once they slipped into the game later on. Now that's sad."

The Marlins dismissed Frost's error as playing a significant role in their surprising victory over the Yankees.

"I don't care if they were all abducted by aliens and replaced with clones," said Florida manager Jack McKeon. "We won fair and square, and those hotdog vendors played just as well as Derek Jeter, in my opinion."

It is anticipated that Steinbrenner will make many changes in the Yankee lineup and management, but to everyone's surprise, he has already gone on record as saying Frost will not lose his job.

"Oh, no," Steinbrenner said. "He's not getting away that easily. I want him right where I can spend time supervising him for a while. A long, long while."

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