Volume 7, Issue 4, October 27, 2009

Experts Say Economic Recovery Hindered by Competence Economists are warning that the Obama administration's new hiring patterns are causing a ripple effect that is seriously contributing to the economic downturn, and that a return to Bush-era tactics may be necessary if the White House is to avoid worsening the situation. "While perhaps they could be forgiven a bit of naiveté in making their initial appointments, it should be clear by now that they need to adjust course," said Nobel laureate economist Paul Krugman. "The system just isn't set up to handle an excess of competent people." PAGE ONE

The Importance of Hitting the Right Button This reporter was relieved to find this morning that the Republican National Committee had prepared the copy for his article on healthcare legislation, and that several ominous-sounding quotes from experts with impressive sounding names provided independent support for the RNC position that healthcare reform will result in every American being personally punched in the stomach by a socialist. PAGE TWO

Recession Leading to Poor Beverage Choices, Says Study "The probiotic properties of a well-crafted, purely dairy-based foam medium, such as that created by skilled baristas at a premium national coffee purveyor, are simply absent from the beverages served at McDonald's," said Stubb. "We can't be sure, but we suspect that McCafé products use a foaming agent developed for use in cleaning truck parts." PAGE THREE

From the Desk of Ezekiel Franklin Watley, Esq., Founder and Editor Sign of the Times: Help Wanted Despite vigorous claims to the Contrary, every organization has that One Person who is Indispensable to its smooth operation, and our humble Publication is no exception. As it happens, this person is not Me - recent months have shown Ample evidence that the dusty confines of our News-Room remain a-bustle even while I am away for Extended periods (though, it must be Admitted, not a lot of News gets published during these times). The person without whom the gears of our machine Truly stop, however, is the redoubtable Elisabeth, she of the effortless Efficiency and peerless Coffee. Editorial Special Feature: Watley Speaks! In a Stunning First for our humble webamagraph pages, you can now Hear my voice in this Ground-Breaking interview at the Fancy Dress Albert Club show on Leisure Talk Radio. It is a good Half-Hour of Rambling Anecdotes about my Family History, Ephram's misadventures, and More. Get the Watley Interview! (January 15, 2009) - Hear ye, hear ye! The top Ten Satire and Humor News stories of the Year have been selected by HumorFeed! Click here for the Full Story! (May 13, 2008) - Zounds! It is our Fifth Anniversary Issue. We are most Grateful to you, our esteemed Readers, for your kind Support and egregiously excessive Flattery these past five years. Of course, one can never have Enough egregiously excessive flattery, so do keep those letters to the Editor coming! (May 30, 2007) - The Fourth Annual First Limerick Competition Results are now available! Click here to learn who took the Prize, and read some of the least objectionable Entries! (May 15, 2007) - The Fourth Annual First Limerick Competition is now officially underway! Click here for details on how to get your own Poetry published in The Watley Review, and win a Whisky Mug besides! (April 3, 2007) - Imitation is the Best Form of Flattery, and one supposes that Re-Mixing must fall in this category. Estimable British purveyor of astounding Truths Doc Sleaze has turned one of our recent Articles into a thoroughly Modern Hip-Hop Remix. Who would have Thought that our dusty brand of Journalism should lend itself so well to Modern Culture?