Volume 8, Issue 1, February 9, 2010

Supervillain Angered By Obama's Reputation as Greatest Threat to America Supervillain Doctor Sinistro, who gained notoriety in 1994 when he kidnapped the entire population of Kentucky, is furious that he is considered less of a threat than the American president, according to sources in his island fortress. "I spent years working to attain a reputation sufficient to strike fear into the hearts of the world," growled the imposing figure as he sat atop his throne in the West Tower, a spiky black protruberance on his fortress which contains the so-called 'Million-Mile Laser', with which he periodically threatens various countries. "This Obama is - what - black? So what? I throw people to tigers on a daily basis, for crying out loud. I even televise it for people with the expanded Dish network package. This is high-definition, wanton carnage!" PAGE ONE

State of Massachusetts Hung Over, Can't Recall January "The beer was pretty good, but when they told us about the pahking, that's when we really realized this was gonna be a major event," grimaced Marvin Prosser, a web developer in Cambridge, holding a cool cloth over his eyes and washing down large quantities of Advil with herbal tea. "I cahn't remember a damn thing for the last four weeks. What a celebration! PAGE TWO

Synthesthete Complains About Off-color Jokes "This lawsuit sounds fishy to me," said Brendan Stark, the employee's supervisor. "Fromm keeps talking about social nuances and whatnot, but the situation seems black and white to me. This is just raising a hue and cry in the name of political correctness." PAGE THREE

From the Desk of Ezekiel Franklin Watley, Esq., Founder and Editor Nailing Down the Problem in Washington It so Happens that my business takes me, upon rare Occasion, to the storied and marble-clad Halls of our Nation's Capital every now and Then. Although chiefly tolerable in small Doses - much like Music written after 1938 - I confess there are many enclaves in Washington with a Refreshing preponderance of Waistcoats and top-Hats, where old-fashioned Values hold sway and political Sinecures, strong Whisky, and excellent Cigars are passed about Freely. Lately, however, the atmosphere has Changed a bit, and upon this latest trip - my first in some Years - I found a most curious Ornament upon one of the Pillars adorning Capitol Hill: a gold Doubloon nailed thereupon, in plain Sight of all. Editorial Special Feature: Watley Speaks! In a Stunning First for our humble webamagraph pages, you can now Hear my voice in this Ground-Breaking interview at the Fancy Dress Albert Club show on Leisure Talk Radio. It is a good Half-Hour of Rambling Anecdotes about my Family History, Ephram's misadventures, and More. Get the Watley Interview! (January 15, 2009) - Hear ye, hear ye! The top Ten Satire and Humor News stories of the Year have been selected by HumorFeed! Click here for the Full Story! (May 13, 2008) - Zounds! It is our Fifth Anniversary Issue. We are most Grateful to you, our esteemed Readers, for your kind Support and egregiously excessive Flattery these past five years. Of course, one can never have Enough egregiously excessive flattery, so do keep those letters to the Editor coming! (May 30, 2007) - The Fourth Annual First Limerick Competition Results are now available! Click here to learn who took the Prize, and read some of the least objectionable Entries! (May 15, 2007) - The Fourth Annual First Limerick Competition is now officially underway! Click here for details on how to get your own Poetry published in The Watley Review, and win a Whisky Mug besides! (April 3, 2007) - Imitation is the Best Form of Flattery, and one supposes that Re-Mixing must fall in this category. Estimable British purveyor of astounding Truths Doc Sleaze has turned one of our recent Articles into a thoroughly Modern Hip-Hop Remix. Who would have Thought that our dusty brand of Journalism should lend itself so well to Modern Culture?